This week we had a medical scare. Everything turned out to be fine in the end (Praise God!) but it was one of those weeks where I stopped and realized how little control we have and how ultimately our lives are in His hands. As we go through these more difficult times, I think we emerge stronger, and for me, more grateful. More grateful for the little things. Less likely to complain or get worked up about the things that don't really matter. We have a saying in our family, "Is this a big problem or a small problem?". This year, I have consciously tried to embrace the philosophy of letting go of the small things. It is a much happier way to live.
One thing that is definitely out of our control is the timing of our adoption. On August 1st, we will have been waiting 2 months for a referral. But really, we started this journey in March of 2008, so we have been down this path for 16 months. As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20 and so being, I can clearly see why our journey has taken as long as it has. In fact, I am relieved that God is in control and not me! We were not meant to be adopting from Taiwan. Our daughter is in Ethiopia. Our family is ready now for the addition of another child. Indigo is older and more independent. I am in the place of being able to devote the time and energy to a new baby and really give her the attention that she will need and deserve. My well feels full again. I don't feel drained like I did when Indigo was younger and waking frequently at night. We have had months of good sleep. We are ready. So, we will wait -- patiently at times, and impatiently at others -- to find out who our daughter will be. And as we wait, I am reminded of the poem that many of us in the adoption community know so well.
"Not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you grew not under my heart, but in it."
In the meantime, I will continue to stay busy with my projects.
Today we made blueberry jam. The inspiration came from my aunt Laurie, who has been making far more interesting jams than I -- last week was strawberry fig, I think. Jude and I made them together and Indigo painted the labels with watercolor.
Yesterday I had intended to attend a sewing class and had hired a babysitter so I could go. The sewing class completely slipped my mind, as we had a crazy and stressful week, and I forgot to sign up. Given I already had a babysitter, I decided to work on a sewing project here while she played with the kids. I made this skirt. I adapted it from Amy Butler's Layered Skirt pattern. The fabric is Lantern Bloom by Laura Gunn for Michael Miller. I don't love the way it turned out, but it's okay. I love the fabric, but didn't do the greatest job on the invisible zipper. I love to wear skirts, so I will definitely get use out of it.
Jude took the above picture and also captured this one of Indi. A budding photographer, perhaps?