It's easy to talk about how cute she is, what big dimples she has and how Jude and Indigo are adjusting to having a sibling.
My favorite part however, is when non-parents give me advice on how to manage integrating an adopted child into the Kovac clan and how to work through the bonding process with an adopted child.
These conversations go something like this:
So, how is bonding going?
Pretty good. She doesn't hate me, I guess. And she...
Well give it time. You just have to be patient.
I read an article on bonding. You have to like,
work at it a lot.
That's good advice. I'll have to give that a shot.
My wife and I really thought about adopting, you know.
Oh, that's great. What programs are you looking into?
Programs? Hmmmm... I'm not sure. We didn't get that far.
If by not very far you mean you saw a poster on a wall about adoption, then yep, you're right, you didn't get very far.
Well, if you ever want some information...
Keep working at that bonding thing. It will happen.
You should not even be allowed to care for a plant.
Thanks. We'll do that.
The hard work of bonding is actually being done by Rachel. She has worn Evangeline in the baby carrier all day (day after day), rocks her to sleep, and responds to her cries so that Evie will grow to know that her calls for attention mean something and that Rachel will always be there for her. Rachel's back is sore, her sciatic nerve is giving her fits from carrying her around and she still has to meet the needs of Jude and Indigo who are still tender hearted children who need Mommy's love.
So to my incredible wife and mother of three children 5 and under, thank you for everything you are doing for our family and for Evie. I love you baby!