This Mother's Day will be my first with our sweet Evangeline. As I celebrate the blessing of my three children, I cannot help but think of Evangeline's first mother. I don't know how she is feeling but I've read that birth mothers grieve the same as woman who lose a child - an average of 5 years. I would assume the grief does not abruptly stop there. No mother sets out to get pregnant and have their child raised by another family. I don't think we have to try to wrap up adoption into a neat little package with a pretty bow on top. It's messy. It's complicated. There is loss.
I have heard people quote James 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." I hear this used as the reason for their adoptions. But in this, we can be overlooking the important other half of that quotation - looking after widows. If we are looking after widows, there should be significantly fewer orphans.
Having spent the last two years on this adoption journey, Dan and I feel more strongly than ever that we need to do everything we can to keep birth families together when possible and if that is their wish. One way that we can honor Evie's birth mother is to give back to Ethiopia in sustainable ways that will help keep families together. We can contribute to organizations like this one, called A Glimmer of Hope, which is working toward eliminating poverty in Ethiopia. We sponsor children through Compassion International, where a small monthly donation changes the lives of entire families. Through Compassion you can, and are encouraged to, correspond with your child through letters, letters that these children treasure. You can develop a relationship with them.
Someone from our local adoption group linked to this post, which was written by an adoptive mother, called Love and Adoption. It's written from a Christian perspective, but I think it is a worthwhile read for all adoptive parents, as the topics she presents are applicable to us all.
I wish all of you mothers a most blessed Mother's Day, with an extra special shout out to my own mother and my two grandmothers. Thank you for all you have taught me about being a mother.
photos by Jude
As always it is a joy to read your compassion, empathy, and awareness. Also, so great to see Jude's photos. Such a talented familia! Happy Mom's day to the mother of three!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day Rachel, I hope it was wonderful! :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day (even 1 day late)!
ReplyDeletei love seeing jude's photography! happy mother's day to you, sweet rachel! i just rec'd your card and marveled at E's beauty. may she grow to have a beautiful heart, too...just like you. now off to read more of your posts!
ReplyDeleteOh Rachel, I'm sorry that I coming to this so late.
ReplyDeleteYour sentiments echo mine so closely and moreso in that you are taking action to make a difference in the lives of those left behind ~ children, widows, families...a country.
No greater gift can be given or shared that in aiding Evie in understanding this complicated thing called adoption and in helping her to honor both her birth family and heritage.
Beautiful sentiments from a beautiful Mama!!
Just reading this...
ReplyDeleteMy heart just aches reading these thoughts. We feel the same way. Although we are called to adopt, we also feel burdened to love "the least of these" and widows where they are. We are sponsoring a child through Compassion who lives in Uganda, and are hoping to add a child from Ethiopia. We are always looking for ways to serve, and ways to love.