and a new mug that Dan bought from Etsy.
Thirty was good to me. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I'm satisfied in my work at home. I've made peace with the angsty inner conflicts of my twenties, having wrestled my way through issues of faith and identity. I've found that I don't really fit in in any particular group... and that's okay. I'm not sure labels are helpful, anyway.
As my birthday rolled around this year, for the first time in my life- rather than embracing it- I found myself clinging a little too much to the present. I was wishing to freeze time. To freeze my family exactly where we are. To always have the love of a baby. Evie has become a gentle, delightful, bright and happy preschooler. She's finally started talking. The other day she told me she loved me for the first time and it melted my heart. Indigo is an articulate, thoughtful mother hen, our Pollyanna - I enjoy her companionship so much. Jude is growing up fast, the ring leader of these three girls who adore him so. I feel like I could stay right where we are forever.
In a society that values, even idolizes youth, I hope I can grow older with grace and acceptance. Not clinging to what was, but embracing what is.
Dan and I headed out for dinner and some birthday shopping - with Iris in tow.
A virgin mojito, my new favorite mocktail
We ended the night by hanging out with a couple of friends. I asked them over a glass of wine if 31 seemed way older than 30. It does to me. Now I'm in my thirties. They told me no, that it actually seemed younger to them(?), less monumental.
I have some really great friends.
Happy, happy birthday to you!! I love being "in my thirties" for all those same reasons you describe ;)ReplyDelete
Oh Rachel, Happy Birthday!!! So happy for you that you're in such a wonderful season of life. Your family is growing beautifully!ReplyDelete