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The Great Pumpkin Returns

Update: Jenna asked in the comments if the Great Pumpkin shares his candy with the Easter Bunny and how the Tooth Fairy fits in. Dan had to handle that question:

This is Dan, the definitive expert on the Great Pumpkin: The Great Pumpkin shares the candy with the Easter Bunny. Their tooth loss is thereby accelerated and they get a higher than average visitation rate from from the Tooth Fairy. Clearly not fair. Last year the Union of Make Believe Characters had a Union meeting because Santa filed a complaint with the Union Steward that he was cut out of the deal.

Under the new Union Contract, 10% of the loot goes to Santa in exchange for the use of Rudolf and the gang to make his Great Pumpkin visits a bit easier. Reports indicate that Santa is now using candy instead of cash to pay the Elves. The Elves are not happy. I'll let you know what happens at this year's union meeting. If your kids get bad gifts this year, you'll know that the Elves are on strike.

Its a dog eat dog world.

Original Post:

Last year we started the yearly tradition of a visit from the Great Pumpkin. Here's how it works: the kids leave their candy at the front door and the Great Pumpkin leaves a toy for them in exchange for their candy.

This year, we were going to skip the whole Great Pumpkin thing. But then, after trick-or-treating, Jude asked, "Mommy, is the Great Pumpkin coming tonight?"

Me: No, I thought you wanted to keep your candy this year so I told him not to come.

Jude: No, I would rather have a toy. Too much candy gives me a stomachache.

Dan: How about this buddy - I will call the Great Pumpkin and tell him you want him to come and he can come tomorrow night instead.

Jude: Dad, that's not gonna work! The Great Pumpkin can't talk on the telephone! He doesn't have hands!

Ridiculous idea, I know!

So yesterday I picked up a couple of toys for them - a pretend doctor's set and a walkie-talkie set - two toys they've been asking for for awhile now.

The kids got to keep a couple pieces of candy and then left the rest for the Great Pumpkin.

Before bed, Jude started asking lots of questions.

"Mommy, how big is the Great Pumpkin?"

Me: He must be pretty big to carry all of those toys. Maybe he'll be able to see you through your [second story] bedroom window.

Jude: I don't want him to look in at me. What if he has a scary pumpkin face?

Me: No, I bet he has a happy face.

Jude: Like this? (Makes a huge grin)

Me: Probably.

Jude: I don't want him to be so big he can look into our bedroom window.

Me: Well, I really have no idea how big he is. It's just a guess. Why don't you ask your dad what he thinks?

Jude: Ok. (asks Dan) Daddy says he's as big as a van. That's still pretty big and kind of scary. (Asks Dan again) Oh, I guess Daddy thinks he is as big as a small dog. Yep. A small dog.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave...


  1. HEY MAN! We looooooove THE GREAT PUMPKIN!
    We watch that thing all year! ROFL!
    Rachel always feels sorry for SALLY.
    Can't wait to see what you guys do NEXT YEAR.
    The GREAT PUMKIN will have to leave some major loot with 3.;)

  2. How fun!

    I had never seen this idea until this year. :)

  3. LOVE the Great Pumpkin idea!!!!! Just a question: does the "Great Pumpkin" eat the candy or trash it? Or share it with the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny? :)

    I struggle with all the lies too.....we do Santa, but when Sawyer starts asking questions, I feel like I'm going to crack like an egg!!!

  4. Great idea to get rid of the candy! Perhaps I should try it next year.

  5. That's great!! I have heard people talking about this this yeat, what a good idea! Love the whole story behind the Great Pumpkin. :)

  6. Have you ever seen
    "DAN IN REAL LIFE"?????
    YOU are DAN IN REAL LIFE(except for the "MURDERER of LOVE thing".
    You should have your own column...& no writing about your REDNECK friends from MISSISSIPPI

  7. FANTASTIC!! I will certainly remember this next year! One question, where does the Great Pumpkin take all of the candy?

  8. LOL I remembered your inspired idea from last year and I love that Jude remembered too! It probably also tied right in with your Charlie Brown movie.....perfect!

    Sometimes it can be a slippery slope.... :) especially when kids are as sharp as Jude!

    Hey, I LOVE that I have been reading for so long now that I can refer back to last year's posts and beyond! Yay!


  9. Dan....that's hysterical!!! :) It sounds like the Elves should keep that one less-than-talented elf who wants to be a dentist (you know, in the Rudolph movie). If they are all getting paid in candy, they will need a dentist around! :)

    Here at our house, MOM is going to need a dentist (and a diet) because I'M making quick work of the candy. HEY- will the greta Pumpkin bring ME a gift if I leave all the candy on the front porch for him???

  10. Jenna Z,
    We let the kids keep a few pieces of candy but the GP takes the rest.


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